Reaching Our Upper Limit: Why we self-sabotage

“Each of us has an inner thermostat setting that determines how much love, success, and creativity we allow ourselves to enjoy. When we exceed our inner thermostat setting, we will often do something to sabotage ourselves, causing us to drop back into the old, familiar zone where we feel secure."
― Gay Hendricks,  The Big Leap

In our teens and 20's we often feel lost but curious, as we approach our 30's our lives become more defined. We have an image to uphold and responsibilities to fulfill. While there are segments of our lives we enjoy and look forward to, there are also dreams that begin to fade.

Being that I recently turned 38 I have a different interpretation of life. The high risks that paid off in my 20's had been traded in for stability and order, so I am not here to tell you to quit your 9-5 and sail the world like a YouTube influencer. 

Quotes & Concepts From The Big Leap

"In my life I’ve discovered that if I cling to the notion that something’s not possible, I’m arguing in favor of limitation. And if I argue for my limitations, I get to keep them.”

Upper limits are the fear based stories we tell ourselves that drives us towards the comfort of the predictable past.

Upper Limit Mantra "I cannot reach my full potential because..." 
1) Feeling fundamentally flawed in some way

2) Goes against how you were raised and pulls you away from your tribes

3) Believing more success brings more burdens

4) Not wanting to outshine others and make them feel bad

Breaking The Upper Limit Ceiling

1) We are constantly convincing ourselves of a story that we call "reality". Write a different story. For instance fear and excitement feel very similar. When you feel that sensation come up, lean towards exhilaration. 

2) The voice in our head. When life is good and you are appreciating the moment, then all of the sudden a voice pops up reminding you that this is temporary and doom is to come. Acknowledge it and tell the voice to take a seat. (This sounds insane but I have done it recently and have benefited. I imagine the voice as a physical person)

3) Prompted Journaling. Journaling is a great way to get our thoughts on paper, but they can also become repetitions of the past. Try writing a few prompting questions to get the creative juices flowing. 

"I am at my best when..."

4) Moment Reminder. For as many times as we've heard professional athletes, Zen Buddhist monks, and mental health experts say it; it is difficult not letting fear and distraction rob you of precious hours that leads to procrastination. Having a ritual or reminder to stay in the moment can be extremely powerful. I find it is best when it is personal to you. Not everyone responds to mantras or meditation.